Num domingo qualquer

Gloriosamente, um domingo sem nada para fazer.

E então decido fazer algo inusitado: vou no Quizilla e faço todos os testes interessantes que há por lá.

O resultado é, para dizer o mínimo, tétrico:

What’s the use of getting sober

Alcohoroscopes – what do the stars say about your drinking style
Pisces Drinking style:
If you’re a Pisces, you’ve probably already heard that you share a sign — and an addictive personality — with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they’re fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase “addictive personality” can be read two ways, you know.

Eu acredito em astrologia, em Papai Noel e no Waldomiro.

Mas vou começar a derrubar garrafas de genebra, só pra fazer a segunda parte disso se tornar verdade.

Forjado a ferro e fogo

Which of the 5 Chinese Elements are you?
Metal
You are the chinese element of Metal. People who are under the element of Metal are organized, discriminating and tidy. Metal, you are a trigger, and also very controlling and hate being wrong. The color of metal is white and your symbol is the tiger. Autumn is the season in which metal shines, and it’s months are July/August. Your weather condition is clear. Metal is the direction of west, and your day is Friday, while your planet is Venus. Animals under your element are usually furred. People under you are Tibetan. Your sense is smell, your taste is acrid/spicy, your sound is lamenting and your virtue is righteousness. Your organ are the lungs. You were created by Earth and control Wood.

Eu gosto é de chuva. Mas como gostei do ideograma, vou fingir que isso aí é verdade.

O Ringo Starr? Não, foi Paul McCartney no correio

Which Beatle are you?
John Lennon
JOHN LENNON. You rock, man. You’re my personal fave, so congrats to ya! You were the other lead singer and play guitar and hermonica. You like parties, profanity, weed, cats, Oriental women, peace, and English tea. You are dead, which is a pretty big bummer, but everyone still loves you and plays your song

Massa. Mas meu beatle preferido é Paul McCartney.

Em busca de uma alma caridosa

Are you ready to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
READY FOR LOVE: You’re sensitive but no pushover, active but not manic. In short, you’re a great girl/guy who’s ready for a relationship. If you’re not already involved with someone, it’s only because you want a guy/girl who’s worthy of your love—you just haven’t met him/her yet. That’s cool. You’ve got plenty of otherinterests to keep you busy. When you do meet ”Mr. Great/Miss. Great,” chances are you won’t abandon all the other important stuff in your life for romance. In fact, your independance and spirit will be part of what attracts him/her—and keeps him/her. Would YOUPLEASE rate my quiz? YOU surely don’t have to, but i’d apreciate it more than YOU could imagine if YOU would! Thanks! Peace out yo’!

Olha só, eu sou legal. Favor avisar a Zeta-Jones, a Nicole Kidman e a Isabel Fillardis.

O meu grau de maluquez

Where do you belong?
You belong to the world of knowledge-seekers
You belong somewhere out in the world, exploring and learning and spreading the knowledge that you find. When you love, that love will join you in your quest and believe as you do in a world of spiritual energy that is stronger than anything humanity could normally even conceive, although you may be able to. Council those you encounter, give them your wisdom, and stay true to yourself.

Isso é de comer?

Matar ou correr

How would you murder?
shoot
Don’t get blood splatters on you when you shoot your victim. Your methods are a bit uncouth but your finesse and sense of style is impeccable. With a bit of guidance you could live among us in the world of vampires.

Ahn… Isso quer dizer que eu sou, tipo assim, meio… meio mau? Não gostei.

Esquisito, eu?

What kind of dark person are you?
DarkMagic
Dark magician. You love the dark because of it’s beauty and just the life that no-one else sees. Mysterious, calm, quiet… But that doesn’t mean you’re not friendly!

Nossa, até como esquisito eu sou legal. Só não sou cool porque no cool dói.

Onde as coisas começam a desandar

What force is your soul?
Water
You are guided by water. You are generally calm and peaceful, but you can be very destructive without even realizing it.

Poxa, eu já estava achando que era legal, um sujeito maneiro. Aí lá vem esse sacana esculhambar comigo. Destrutivo é a mãe.

Além de dinheiro…

What Do You Truly Desire?
DesireNoneCrazy
Nothing. You truly desire nothing. You’re just empty and creepy. Leave now.

Tá vendo? Lá vem a esculhambação. Eu vou fazer esses testes na maior boa vontade e o que recebo em troca? Agressão gratuita.

E as coisas voltam ao eixo

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
Artistic
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and creativity, and usually are highly intelligent. Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

Cruzes. Esse sou eu? Eu voltei a ser legal, o amigão da casa do lado? Os testes estão começando a ficar interessantes de novo.

Ah, se a Arósio visse isso…

The Ultimate Personality Test
HASH(0x895b1ac)
Seer

Desculpe, mas eu tenho miopia e astigmatismo. Eu não é vejo nada.

Ainda bem que não falamos de sacanagem

What sign of affection are you?
cuddle and a kiss
Cuddle and a kiss on the forehead – you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed.

Se alguém disser que não sou isso eu quebro de porrada. Juro.

Ih, falamos

What’s your sexual appeal?
pervert
Pervert

Foi engano. Esse não sou eu. Mas, olha, essas duas orelhudinhas dos peitão aí são interessantes…

Só porque porque não são lindos como eu

Which personality disorder do you have
HASH(0x8936788)
Narcissistic

Isso se eu morrer, né, mané?

Bem aventurados os tolos, porque deles será o reino dos Céus

Which book of the Bible are you?
You are Proverbs
You are Proverbs.

A Igreja Rafaélica de Todos os Tostões agradece a preferência. Mas eu preferia, sinceramente, ser o Cântico dos Cânticos.

O fim do sonho

What emotion dominates you?
undecided
Why are you taking this quiz you obviously don’t have feelings?! I am just kidding, you just are either a) a really horny person, or b) you just a little bit of everything. So to B good for you, and A have a chat with someone who got anger..he…he.

Ô vida. Grande escolha eu tenho agora: ser um seco de carteirinha, daqueles que não conseguem se controlar quando vêm uma nesga de bunda, por mais crateras de celulite que tenham, ou simplesmente ser indeciso. Não sei o que faço. E que negócio é esses de dizer que não tenho sentimentos? Eu tenho, sim. E no momento, sinto profunda vontade de enforcar o sujeito que escreveu isso.

Sono

Which of the Greek Gods are you?
Morpheus
Morpheus

Podia ser pior. Eu podia ser Hefaístos.

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